


Endlessly on and on

by dchdsy



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Character Death, Chronic Illness, Comfort, F/F, Immortality, Mythical Creature, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, prepare your tissues, terrorist attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-24 07:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20702450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dchdsy/pseuds/dchdsy
Summary: Handong is an immortal with bad luck in love. Everyone she loved, just died.





	Endlessly on and on

**Author's Note:**

> *hands over box of tissues* Please enjoy

_Year 187 B.C_

_The immortal was still young at that time. Most who saw her would guess she is a poor petite 18 years old abandoned by her family._

_People passed by the poorly clad girl, not sparing a glance towards the small shivering bundle. Handong pulled the rag over her dirty body, sinking in deeper into the bags thrown onto the pile of trash._

_She was an immortal who didn’t believe much in humanity. Her tired eyes scanned over the rich and the poor, who strolled by the dirty road, neither party paying any attention to the immortal. In their eyes, if there was anyone truly kind, she was a helpless cause, probably cursed and meant to die at any moment._

_Handong was indeed cursed. But she was never going to die. Starvation and the cold had never stopped the immortal, and she had never gotten sick._

_IT had been centuries, and she had gone through a lot, a lot that kept killing her over and over again, yet she wouldn’t die._

_There really wasn’t a point to all this, Handong thought, closing her eyes in hopes of falling asleep under the moonlight._

_“No no no! You can’t fall asleep in this cold!” Handong opened her tired eyes slightly, her vision filled with white puffs of snow, as it tried to focus on the figure in front of her. There was nothing wrong with sleeping outside in the cold, snowflakes working as a blanket over her pale body; she had been doing that for years now._

_Yet the black haired girl that stood before her didn’t seem to care about what Handong had to say, wrapping her coat over the immortal’s shoulders._

_Blinking eyes stared into worried ones, a warmth enveloping Handong’s numb body, surprising the immortal, who was not used to being approached by people of the town._

_“Princess!” a tall man entered her vision, throwing his own coat over the Princess’ shoulders, scolding her for giving her coat to a stranger while her own health was more important._

_‘Princess.’ Handong looked around, counting the guards surrounding her and the princess, and then her eyes focused on the well dressed girl in front of her, whose hands were still around her shoulders, holding the coat tight to keep her warm._

_The princess pulled her up with little effort, Handong not really refusing, her eyes focusing on the princess’ beautiful features, while her jewelry glinted under the moonlight._

_Princess Minji of the Damhongsaeg Dynasty. She was a very kind person, unlike the rich Handong had seen before._

_Minji had reached out for her hand, pulling Handong towards the castle._

_The immortal had tried to escape, not knowing what the princess wanted from her._

_But the Princess kept reaching out, until eventually, Handong found herself sinking into the comfortable warmth of Minji and her castle._

_Minji would call them old habits, whenever she found Handong curled up in a dark corner of her room. Not many knew of her presence, other than a trusted few, yet the immortal chose to hide in shadowed places whenever not in Minji’s presence._

_Handong gradually began to follow the princess around the castle, making Minji laugh at whatever display of ‘primitive instinct’ –as the princess called her reactions – she would have._

_ Minji always showed her the kindness and love Handong hadn’t felt in centuries, she made her feel at home, safe._

_The immortal listened to the princess speak, and she knew, she would one day be the perfect queen, a great ruler._

_Minji was loved by everyone, and she loved everyone. She was the only heir to the throne, while her uncle’s sons were to be named generals of the army. The immortal paid her full attention to the girl who kept going on and on about her activities today among the townspeople._

_Minji yawned as she patted the spot beside her on the bed, calling for Handong to sit next to her. The immortal did so, allowing the princess to wrap her in a tight hug while she patted her head lovingly._

_“In only a few moons, I’ll be named as the Queen.” Minji said in a sleepy voice, pulling them both down to lie on the soft sheets. “And then I can name you as my right hand. We will be together!” a wide smile formed in her lips, and Minji looked deep into those mysterious eyes of the immortal. “Forever.” She whispered._

_Handong’s heart had began to beat at a normal pace since she met Minji, at times perhaps too fast. It wasn’t a dead rhythm anymore._

_“I Love you.”_

_Minji always muttered that before she fell asleep._

_Handong never understood that. What did ‘I love you’ mean?_

_Did it mean pain? Sorrow? Numbness? Emptiness?_

_Did it mean all the terrible feelings she was going through when she saw Minji under a pool of blood?_

_\--_

_Handong was chased out of the castle, hunted down, killed, yet she never did die. She managed to escape the traitor soldiers, hide into the woods and run as far away from the kingdom as she could._

_The moonlight shone through some leaves, softly dancing on the pale skin of the immortal, who stood curled under the tree._

_Minji…_

_The Princess was killed by an assassin ordered from the enemy kingdom. Those words spread around._

_But Handong had seen the person Minji loved and called ‘uncle’ wielding the sword that had caused Minji’s pain and the loss of her life._

_The immortal still remembered how the screams rang in her ears._

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

The immortal had walked and walked, perhaps from a few days, months or even years.

Tears didn’t fall from her dry eyes anymore, and her ears fell deaf to every noise, the screams haunting her sleep, that the immortal didn’t close her eyes anymore.

Handong remembered everything like it had happened yesterday. Perhaps that was part of her curse as well.

She locked herself away from humanity, yet somehow, she found herself in the warm embrace of another kind soul.

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

_Year 312 A.D_

_Had it been centuries already? Handong lost count, but the memory was still fresh in her mind._

_She saw the children running around the hall, without a care, smiling and laughing with each-other. It made the immortal wonder what they felt. Did they know what ‘love’ was? Did they know what tears were?_

_The noisy cheers of the children grew in volume as they ran to greet a woman walking the halls. It wasn’t a rare case for the woman to be alone in the castle, but it still confused Handong how the Queen would be left unguarded._

_Queen SuA. That was what she heard around the castle whenever she hid outside of her given room, strolling the majestic domain without anyone noticing her movements._

_But the Queen, who appeared strict to the outside, was a very kind woman, one who put the value of life above everything, even wealth, something that Handong had learned ruled above all. That made the queen even more intriguing. What piqued the immortal’s interest higher was when the Queen insisted that ‘Bora’ was her name._

_She said no one outside the castle knew it. She had only given her real name to the orphan children she had rescued from the streets and bandits. She said it made them feel more comfortable and connected._

_“I’m not Queen SuA. I’m just Bora.” She would say the first days they had met._

_The queen stood close to the immortal ever since they met, noticing her cautious behavior to everything and anything. A little girl walked up to them, Bora noticing the slight shift of the woman sitting next to her. The child looked up at said immortal with curious eyes._

_Handong didn’t like the attention, that Bora knew. The child, pure and unknowing, pulled something she was hiding out, showing the immortal a small flower she had probably picked from the garden. With a hesitating hand, she reached out, making Bora smile, seeing the change in the immortal’s behavior._

_The child smiled even brighter, making Handong’s lips tag a bit. Then the child rushed forward, giving Handong a short but tight hug, then went back to the rest of the children._

_That left Handong dumbfounded, earning a chuckle from the queen._

_“You’re so cute!!” Bora’s hands pinched the other’s cheeks, her heart swelling and a warm smile forming when the immortal didn’t flinch, instead laughing back awkwardly while her cheeks were pulled._

_The color was returning to her face, and she was gaining weight, her beautiful features now sharper. Handong was getting better, whatever had happened to her in the past being forgotten._

_The immortal found her home to be Bora. It was warm and kind. It was welcoming._

_\--_

_But then things crashed again._

_It hadn’t been months yet, but Handong found herself never leaving the queen’s room again._

_No one was allowed to enter, but the immortal didn’t care. Nothing was going to happen to her anyway._

_“Y… You shouldn’t be here.” The queen, laying week on her bed, coughed out, worried but tired eyes looking at Handong._

_“Nothing will happen to me.” Handong said for the nth time, rubbing the queen’s palms with her thumbs, placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand, an act she had seen between people close to each-other around the castle._

_Bora smiled, looking up at the beautiful woman she had met by the ruins. She looked so grown up now, much more beautiful than before, her body one the women wished to have. Handong looked towards the papers on top of a small table by the side, reading over the words._

_Until a few weeks ago she didn’t even know what those weird figures were. But when Bora found out, she took her free time to try and teach Handong. She said reading and writing was important for a noble woman._

_What was noble?_

_Her attention went back to Bora, a person she would consider very close to her, if what she saw around the castle had showed her right. The queen smiled weakly, patting the place beside her so Handong would sit beside her and not on the chair by the bedside._

_“Please…” Bora coughed again, her whole body numb and burning. “Sleep with me?”_

_Handong could never deny her, so she did._

_But only one pair of eyes opened the next morning._

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

Again, Handong ran away.

She ran away from what clenched her heart, she tried isolating herself again, her once dry eyes red with tears, tears of what she was told was pain. She hated suffering.

She hated the feeling so much.

Years passed by, those who died forgotten, but to Handong, everything stood unmoving, an empty white room with no meaning.

But later she realized she wasn’t alone in the meaningless space.

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

_Year 743 A.D_

_Where there were immortals, there were also other creatures believed to be nothing more than myths and legends. Lee Siyeon was one of those creatures which roamed the forest under the moonlight. Those who searched for proof of otherworldly creatures would say that the girl was a werewolf, judging so by her sharp canines and nails, her cunning personality expressing that of a wolf._

_But Siyeon didn’t like being called a werewolf. She was a mythical creature, but she wasn’t a human bitten and turned under the full moon._

_Sharp claws tore through the flesh of a deer, the poor animal letting out a sound signaling the pain it received. The black wold form of Siyeon sunk its teeth into the neck of the deer, ending the mammal’s suffering._

_Siyeon lived like an animal in the forest, guided by her hunt instincts, but often held back by her human ones. Speaking of humans, Siyeon stopped devouring the fresh meat, her nose sniffing the air. She caught the scent of a human nearby._

_It was already weird having a human on these parts of the forest, considering those who roamed would be named as heretics or witches by the ruling empire. What made it even weirder was the scent. It was so different from the usual, yet still human._

_Her sharp nose guided the wolf towards a sleeping girl._

_\--_

_Handong slept, but through the years she had learned to aker her mind and body one with the surrounding. She could hear the chirping of birds or the light movements of the squirrels. Yet tonight the forest was quiet._

_Had she wandered too deep?_

_And there it came, the snapping of twigs. But it was too heavy to be one of the squirrels which usually crawls on top of her head. As the steps got closer to her, the immortal felt a warm breath hitting her face._

_That made Handong open her eyes._

_A wolf._

_Predators wouldn’t go away. They’d only approach her if they caught her scent, finding the mysterious girl somehow delicious. But they’d then run away, her own curse making them unable to bite further, her flesh burning them like acid._

_The wolf before her watched with curious eyes, coming closer to the immortal, its bloody snout rubbing the girl’s cheek. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but Handong was used to worse, unmoving and waiting for whatever the wolf decided._

_But the wolf stood gazing into her eyes, randomly bopping her with its nose. Handong realized the wolf was too large to be a normal one. Then it hit her._

_“A werewolf?”_

_The creature in front of her snorted, or it looked like it, moving away now, its hot breath not fanning the immortal’s face anymore. The wolf growled lowly, but it didn’t sound like anything threatening._

_Another growl, but this time from the Immortal’s stomach. Handong curled up in a ball. Her body felt sore and tired, and she knew there wasn’t any actual need to hunt for food._

_The wolf neared her again, rubbing its snout on her arm, moving its – fluffy – head towards the forest, maybe wanting Handong to get up and go there. The wolf seemed to kind to the immortal, who through the years had learned to ignore and close out everyone and anything other than herself._

_It would explain her pitiful state._

_With a grunt, the immortal got up, limply following the big wolf, coming to a clearing where a dead deer stood, its flesh bitten and eaten, the smell of blood and insides poking her sensitive nose. Handong looked at the wolf, whose head pointed to the dead deer, as if to say ‘go enjoy’. The immortal grimaced, her stomach churning, choosing to rather stay empty then succumb to the primal instincts of animals._

_The wolf was stubborn however, going behind her and pushing her towards it with its head._

_“I don’t want to eat.” Handong spoke in a husky voice, her throat dry. The wolf stopped, sniffing the air around them. Handong sighed, closing her eyes again, succumbing to the darkness, trying to clear her mind._

_“You’re a mythical creature too?” a feminine voice spoke behind her. Handong turned to face the wolf, but it wasn’t there anymore._

_“An immortal.” She answered simply. “And you are a werewolf.” The beautiful woman that now stood in front of her scoffed, again._

_“A mythical creature!”_

_Handong didn’t like interacting with humans ever since that day. But she somehow couldn’t keep the wolf girl away from herself, the beauty insisting on convincing her a mythical creature and werewolf weren’t the same._

_\--_

_“Stop following me.” Handong growled at the other girl. She was beginning to pick up some habits._

_“But Handong~.” Siyeon walked just a meter behind her, hopping from a tree root to the other, following the immortal girl deeper and deeper into the forest. “There are hunters camping in the forest now.”_

_“And I’m immortal.” Handong stopped, releasing a sad sigh, remembering all the times she had to say that to the wolf. “Nothing will happen to me.” Then she began to walk again._

_Siyeon pretended to not see the woman stop, leaping forward and lightly bumping into Handong, rest her forehead on the immortal’s head, her arms pulling her into an embrace. “Doesn’t that make it worse though?”_

_\--_

_Had a year passed already?_

_Handong closed her eyes, her back leaning on the same tree Siyeon had first found her against. Her memory was perfect to the point she remembered every detail. She remembered all of Siyeon’s tries to make her take care of herself more, not falling to the thought of ‘being an immortal curses me to suffer from everything and nothing’._

_She smiled at the thought of the stubborn wolf. She had never left her side, trailing behind her in wolf form or as the pretty human. They lived in a small cave by the lake, in the middle of the same forest. Siyeon had said she preferred roaming endlessly, uncomfortable to the feeling of a closed space. But she was up for a change for her, she had said._

_After centuries, she felt safe again._

_Heavy steps, something running… Handong’s eyes shot open in panic, jumping up the tree as a black blur slammed into her previous location._

_“Bwahahaha” a loud laugh echoed into the forest, making Handong frown as she looked down at the Siyeon. The wolf smirked, jumping up the branch, overestimating it, breaking said branch and dragging Handong back down._

_She laughed again, getting on her elbows to lift her weight off of the immortal. Handong chuckled, looking up at the ‘mythical creature’ fondly._

_“You remind me of cats sometimes.” Siyeon said with a small smile, which morphed into a mischievous smirk right after. “And do you know what we do to cats?”_

_Handong raised an eyebrow in amusement. Siyeon cupped her cheeks gently, their eyes connected in a stare that didn’t seem to want to break anytime soon. The wolf leaned down, guiding Handong’s chin with her fingertips._

_And so, under the full moon, their lips met._

_\--_

_“… Siyeon…” Handong felt hot tear stream down her cheeks, feet frozen as she fell on her knees. “Siyeon…?”_

_She had heard yells coming from unfamiliar voices from far away, and she had tried to come to their little cave as fast as she could. The hunter attacks had gotten more in number lately, which was why the two would never leave each-others’ sides. But today Handong had to wander away from Siyeon._

_But they had made sure no human was in the forest…_

_“SIYEON!”_

_The water of the lake they used to play around in was painted red, the body of her ‘love’ half sunken in. Siyeon’s face rested peacefully on the ground, her one remaining arm stretched out, fingertips stained red._

_Handong’s hands were dressed in blood as the immortal tried to caress the wolf’s face, refusing to accept the truth._

_The forest was unusually quiet, except of the unadulterated screams of a suffering immortal._

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

A millennia and a few centuries. Time was an illusion for her, unimportant, inexistent. Every second was archived in her mind still, her memory working like folders with endless storage.

But even after this long time, she hadn’t met ‘another one’. Her ‘past three’ would greet her in her nightmares, caressing her among the deafening screams. In a way, she had learned to not mess with what would be taken away from her. So she never tried to go further with anyone.

With anyone other than the adorable girl looking at her through the lenses of a camera.

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

_2001_

_Yoohyeon played around with the buttons of her new camera. She should have really read the manual before coming outside to take pictures._

_Yes! A picture! Wait, how did she do that again? Oh no, that was the delete button…_

_Trying one last time before going home to find the manual, the young photographer heard the snap of the camera. Finally she got the right button!_

_Eyes focused through the lenses, her target under watch. Today she would aimlessly capture a few pictures that seemed beautiful to her, and examine them at home. Her camera pointed towards the fountain at the center of the park, the water falling out of it in patterns, the faint orange of the sunset giving it a mysterious light._

_She had the perfect shot, the white fountain, the sunset, flowing water and a beautiful woman with hair mixing in with the falling sun. Then the turned towards her, offering another perfect shot._

_Wait…. Woman?_

_“I’M SO SORRY!!!”_

_The person by the fountain looked at her dumbfounded for a few seconds, while Yoohyeon started to clumsily press buttons on her new camera, almost dropping the poor thing._

_The orange haired woman approached her, catching a glimpse of the pictures from over the photographer’s shoulders._

_ “I-I’ll delete that right away!” Yoohyeon started sweating nervously._

_“Can I get a copy of that?”_

_“Huh?”_

_Yoohyeon was confused, until it finally hit her after a few seconds of awkward silence. “Oh… Y-yeah sure.”_

_“It looks pretty good so it would be a waste if you delete it.”_

_“… yeah.” Yoohyeon stared at the woman’s features, especially her high cheekbones, blinking as she found the beauty unreal. “T-that will take a day however.” The girl inwardly facepalmed at her stuttering, coughing lightly to collect herself. “This is just a hobby for me, so I still don’t have all needed material hehe.”_

_“It’s okay.” The orange head smiled warmly at her, making Yoohyeon’s heart beat a tad bit faster. She was so cute. “I’ll see you here at the same time tomorrow?”_

_“S-Sure.”_

_\--_

_So they met again under the sunset. Handong chuckled at Yoohyeon numerous attempts at seeming cool which had ended up in some clumsy act by the younger. And as she had said, the pictures had truly ended up being beautiful._

_Yoohyeon blushed at being complimented on her skills, insisting that it was just a hobby and the pictures were made so by luck, and of course, she said they were beautiful because Handong was in them._

_Handong found herself smiling at everything the adorable girl did, her clumsy acts, or how passionately she talked about photography. And just like that, she didn’t refuse her offer to meet the next day to hang out for a cup of coffee._

_Sometimes the immortal wonders if avoiding a certain decision in time would keep everything from going downhill. But she still never wanted to erase meeting the puppy-like hyper girl. But maybe she wanted to erase her last decision…_

_\--_

_“Will you accompany me, please~.” Yoohyeon whined as she snuggled closer to the immortal, tightening her hug while the other chuckled at the behavior._

_“Yoohyeon I have work.” Handong answered, breaking into laughter at the puppy’s whining of discontent. “And you don’t need me there to take pretty pictures.”_

_“But it’s more fun with you.” Yoohyeon sighed, burying her nose into the mane of orange hair. Ever since their second meeting, Yoohyeon had always invited the older woman to hang out or accompany her during her freelance shootings. In a way, the older one had become her model. Handong found herself unable to push the human away, drawn to her clumsy personality and bright smile._

_So as days turned to months, it didn’t take long for them to find each-other in one another’s arms._

_“Maybe I should just go there when you are free then.” Yoohyeon spoke again, rocking back and forth in the bed, pulling Handong with her in the movement too._

_“Baby don’t you have a project deadline?” Handong took her eyes off her book, looking from her peripherals at her whining puppy, who had a pout on. She chuckled, smothering the other’s frown with her thumbs, kissing the pout away._

_“Fine~.” Yoohyeon stole another kiss before getting up to get her camera ready. “But you will treat me to dinner after classes.”_

_“Sure.” Handong answered with a smile the other compared to the brightness of the sun. Yoohyeon’s heartbeat increased in speed, returning the smile with equal cheerfulness._

_But now that Handong thinks over it again, perhaps she shouldn’t have let the photographer go alone._

_\--_

_It was pretty late already, and Handong found the silence in the house unnerving. It would take Yoohyeon an hour to come back home, and from what she said about her schedule, she should be back in ten minutes or so._

_Shuffling through the TV channels, Handong settled for the news after finding nothing interesting to watch._

_It was the usual politic reports. Then the economic, then the-_

_Breaking News: Terrorist Attack caused major property damage and already reported hundred of victims._

_Handong’s heart stopped. The sound from the TV was muted from her mind, while her eyes started to tear up._

_“… Yoo?” much to her horror, the news finally showed pictures of the place and the damage, reporters already on sight. It was the same place Yoohyeon had gone to visit…_

_The terrorist attack had happened a few hours ago, the fire finally having been put under control while the identification of victims had just began._

_Her breath hitched, the silence broken by the ringtone of her cellphone. With shaking hands, Handong picked it up, eyes full of tears, making her almost unable to read the “Yoohyeon” written on the shining screen._

_“H-Hello?”_

_Her voice was broken, full of fear of the other voice’s answer, but also with hope._

_“Hello, I’m from the police department. This was the only working device we could find on the victim, we are very sorry for the loss but we’d like your cooperation in id-”_

_Her phone slipped from her hands, hitting the floor, allowing a crack to form on the screen, splitting Yoohyeon’s image in half._

_“Miss? Hello? Miss are you alright?”_

_A cry answered the multiple questions from the police, one so loud and filled with pain that the police kept silent from then on._

_She was not alright… not in the slightest._

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

Thick droplets of red liquid disturbed the clear surface of the lake water. It flowed away as more droplets joined the clear surface, painting it a dull red. Then clear droplets started to disturb the red liquid, but the change wasn’t much noticeable.

Her arms were numb, loosing feeling to all her fingers, the knife in her hand falling in the lake water, disturbing the thick liquid, creating a temporary hole of clear water. Then the hole was filled again, blood covering the entire surface, more seeping through the grass while Handong’s arms lay limp by her sides.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. The bloody lake reminded her of Siyeon’s death. The blood stained grass reminded her of what she saw on the news after Yoohyeon’s death. It all came back clear as day, images playing before her eyes, making the immortal’s heart stop beating, lungs restricting.

The emotional and mental pain gave her some sort of adrenaline, as she grabbed another knife, tearing through her own flesh, fingers sticky from sweat and blood, her cries gone silent.

Her body lay motionless on the ground, not even a sign of life from her body. Yet, her eyes blinked, her tears dried out, while her mind screamed. Why couldn’t she just die?

She spent days there, lying by the lake, cutting her limbs open and watching blankly as they stitched themselves back together, the wounds healing in a matter of seconds.

Maybe she had disturbed the sight of random passerbys unlucky to have wondered so far.

But at this point she didn’t care anymore. She just wanted everything to end there, her memory, her suffering, her life.

“Hey- what are you doing?!” a random passerby had decided to meddle in her business however, grabbing her wrist and pulling the knife out of the stab wound on her palm. The newcomer grabbed tissues from her pocket, hurriedly to stop the bleeding on the other’s palm.

However, Handong’s dull and empty eyes somehow captivated her. The wounded palm still stood up, and the new girl had a chance to witness the cut wound close without a trace left.

“Wha-”

\--

Yubin, that was the girl’s name. She had a kind heart, welcoming all in need for help. She stubbornly insisted Handong had to get checked, even though she clearly witnessed her regeneration. Handong had stood stiff where she was, sitting on top of her own dried blood. She didn’t care in the least.

Yet the worried eyes brought back a slow beat to her still heart. It was sad, it was crying. And so did Handong, she cried out to the foreigner unlucky to meet her.

\--

Even though Yubin had already seen her immortal side, Handong didn’t want to go into detail about her past. So she just said the partial truth, being kicked out of her house after her girlfriend’s unfortunate passing.

Yubin had of course offered her help. Handong somehow sensed it wasn’t just because the other pittied her condition. Yubin had taken it as her job to keep her under check, making sure the immortal wouldn’t hurt herself to cry of physical pain instead of the crashing spiritual one.

And despite her mind yelling to run away, Handong shut all senses when around Yubin. The short haired girl made her happy, an atmosphere that would disappear whenever she stood home alone.

The small panda-like girl had turned into her last ray of light. So she reached out to that light, getting closer and closer to it, her suffering left behind.

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

Handong stood with her back against Yubin’s chest, while the younger was sitting against the bed rest, cuddling the immortal. Lately the couple hadn’t had much time for each-other, but Handong was happy, smiling at Yubin’s stories of her newly started Producer career.

“Baby~” the girl whined, her nose buried on the other’s neck.

“Almost done.” Handong chuckled, turning a page in her notebook to go over the notes again. Even after millennia of walking the surface of earth, she found herself studying like a normal girl, finding amusement on the changing and challenging subjects as years went by.

Yubin nuzzled closer to the immortal, planting a soft kiss on her shoulder. That ade the iortal smile lightly.

Handong’s breath hitched when the kiss trailed to her neck and then a soft bite on her earlobe. She sat her notebook down, turning around slightly, allowing the human to catch her lips in a chaste kiss.

Yubin’s hands pushed her shoulders lightly, making the immortal shift, fully turning around, and then laying her back on the soft bed mattress. Yubin followed her movement, her weight on her palms, elbows bending to close the distance between them.

Glassy eyes stared into each-other, their breaths mingling together.

Yubin had been the first one Handong had gotten intimate with.

\--

Handong picked up her phone from the kitchen table, smiling warmly when she read the contact name on the screen.

“Hey.”

_“Hey.”_ The other voice answered softly. _“I’ve stopped at the red light right now. I stopped by for groceries too. Give me 20 minutes max and I’ll be home.”_

“I miss you.” The immortal pouted into the phone, laughing lightly knowing Yubin can’t see her.

_“I miss you too.”_ Yubin chuckled from the other side. _“I won’t take long. I love you.”_

_I love you too._

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

Handong was beginning to get restless. She was nervous, and was really close to panicking. It had only been 30 minutes, so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. Yet as she dialed Yubin’s number for the nth time, her heart really stopped beating, fear she hadn’t faced in years crawling back into her soul.

Her eyes teared up when the siren of a speeding ambulance echoed through the neighborhood. She grabbed her coat, rushing outside, not even bothering to wear outside shoes or even grab her keys.

She ran until her legs started to burn and her lungs couldn’t take any more air in. A man with the police’s uniform held her arms tightly, not allowing her to go closer to the burning cars, whose fire was being put under control by the firefighter truck at the side.

She yelled, at the policeman and towards the burning cars. Handong looked around, in hopes of finding a short haired girl running towards her, coming to comfort her and ensure her that she was okay.

But there was no sign of Yubin.

Handong dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks, throat dry and hurting as if a leash was chocking her. She saw as the fire die down and bodies started to be pulled out of the smashed cars. She didn’t want to believe it all. She didn’t want to believe the cold feeling of the hand that had previously been her source of warmth.

**──────** **⊹⊱** **✫⊰⊹** **──────**

Handong looked down at the grave, promising herself to not cry this time. She wouldn’t want to see her like this, none of them would. She placed the flowers down on the black marble, running her fingertips on the surface before retreating and walking away with a silent goodbye. She paused only for a few seconds on another grave, one that belonged to the drunk driver who had crushed into Yubin’s car.

Neither had survived.

Another thing she promised herself was to end her suffering. She wouldn’t curse another mortal, she wouldn’t fuel her own curse to keep on her hurting her forever onwards.

Handong should have learned from all her past mistakes, from all the tears she had shed.

And yet, she couldn’t take her eyes off of the small girl, who reminded her of a baby fox, praying by another grave.

And then their eyes met.

**Author's Note:**

> And we end the emo train here ;-;. Hope you enjoyed this piece, and please leave your thoughts in the comments *-*


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